Twilight: Eclipse

There are lots of spoilers ahead!

Three films in and although I’m not nor will I ever be a Twilight fan, I’m actually enjoying these films. Yeah, that shocked me too.

I knew nothing about this third film at all, so it was a pleasant surprise to finally get some on screen action. It doesn’t appear until the end where there is a battle; Vampires & Wolves vs a Vampire army led by newcomer Riley.

Victoria is back, although portrayed by a new actress, she was on screen for a few minutes before I realised she looked a bit different!

After the second film I thought the Volturi would play a bigger part but that wasn’t the case, Dakota Fanning and three minions turn up towards the conclusion but offer nothing more than some exposition.

Although there is a more action in this film, there is still a lot of talking. It goes a bit like; Bella & Edward, Bella & Jacob, Edward & Jacob, Edward & Jacob & Bella. Most of that is either Bella professing her love for both chaps or both chaps exchanging strong words with each other about Bella. It does get a little tedious.

Edward & Jacob nearly get into Brokeback territory. To keep Bella safe from the impending battle, Edward sets up camp high up a mountain where it will be very cold but forgets to pack any kind of heat source to keep poor fragile Bella alive. Enter ‘hot’ Jacob (still not wearing a top) to keep Bella warm. As she sleeps Eddy & Jacob have a heart to heart. Edward tells Jacob that if he wasn’t a werewolf he might actually like him, Jacob starts to say the same but then no, no he wouldn’t. Get a room!

As I watched my mind wandered to Star Wars which is about as far away from Twilight as you could imagine, but is it really. Bella is much like Anakin Skywalker bringing balance to the force, as she brings together the Vampires and Wolves…okay that’s a stretch.

There is an exchange were R-Patz gets to be Han Solo for at least 5 seconds. Jacob finds out that Bella and Edward are to be married, Bella tells Edward that she loves them both (hedging her bets) but loves Edward more…queue ‘I know’.

So the final battle was good, arms, legs and heads being ripped off with nary a drop of blood spilt. Vampires appear to break on impact. Victoria & Edward have their long awaited showdown, with Victoria being dispatched presumably so that the Volturi can be the main ‘big bad’ for the remainder of the series – I’m speculating here having not read up on this.

The most surprising thing for me happened after the battle. There was a survivor of the vampire army, a small girl seemingly protected by the Cullen clan but on the arrival of the Volturi they allowed her execution.

Once again I found things funny at points where there shouldn’t have been any laughs, and once again that got me through the experience. The action scenes helped too. I am also interested to see how this all resolves.

I do know some bits of what is to come but as I previously said, not how that fills the last two films.

3 out of 5